I have a dream. I wish I could claim it was a noble dream; a dream that works to end social injustice or world hunger, or maybe brings about world peace. It’s not, because realistically, I’m a little too selfish for that kind of dream. Instead, I dream of making travel and exploration my life and work, not just my hobby. It sounds kind of fantastical, doesn’t it? Can you imagine? Having the thing that brings you joy and inspires you, be the same thing that pays your bills? Sounds crazy, right? Alas, it’s my dream.
It’s not an entirely selfish dream, it’s not like I envision only working with luxury brands, being based out of Singapore or Dubai, and drastically “upgrading” my lifestyle (I honestly don’t think it would fit me). Rather, I want to share the beauty I see every time I go for an afternoon drive. I want to encourage people to slow down and enjoy the way sunlight dances across leaves when there is a gentle breeze caressing the trees. I want to inspire people to be curious and adventurous, because there are too many magnificent sights and experiences in this world to never leave your home town.
And the people! Oh, people have the best stories! I’ve listened to everything from descriptions of Sicilian Cafes from someone’s tour with the Navy, to the hilarious antics of children from someone else’s time as a school bus driver. I love it! I love watching the mirth wash over peoples faces in waves as they recount old memories, or seeing the resilience permeate their being as they share the hardships they have overcome. I want to embrace different cultures, try new foods, meet new people, and feel as comfortable in any part of the world as I do in my own hometown. These are the things I want to share and the things I want to make my life about.
It’s a pretty big dream. If you asked me to draw out a road map of how to achieve it, I would most likely stare at you a little dumbfounded, before admitting that I have no clue how to make that happen. Yet, it continues to saturate my thought life. So much so, that every time I consider a new hobby that has the slightest correlation to my dream, I get overwhelmed with thoughts of how to make it a hustle to finance the dream. For example, I think: “Ooo, I wonder if I could do a podcast, that might be fun.”
Over-Thinker Mode Activated: How do I monetize that? How do I market that? How can I get listeners? How do I pay taxes on that type of income?
Are those appropriate first step questions? No. Are they good questions to ask at some point down the road? Yes. But it would probably be a little more productive for me to brainstorm 10 episode ideas and maybe purchase a microphone before I start questioning my theoretical future tax status. What’s worse is it takes hobbies that I could really enjoy, that would give me a creative outlet, and maybe even give me opportunity for personal development, and bogs them down with so much pressure and expectation that I never start them.
This is the thought process I have been evaluating a lot in my own life lately. Especially when I see it stopping me from action. Don’t get me wrong, there are valid reasons to not pick up new hobbies. Maybe it isn’t how I want to prioritize my finances: new hobbies cost money, and keeping a roof over my head and food on the table tends to be a little more important. Maybe it isn’t how I want to prioritize my time: There are only 24 hours in a day and apparently I am supposed to sleep for eight of them? And then the other 16 hours get divvied up between work, family, friends, and current hobbies… oh yeah, and exercise! Those are legitimate considerations. So when I notice myself hesitating not from the logical reasons of finances or time, but from the crippling pressure of:
What if this is how I’m supposed to make my dream happen, and I fail… miserably?
I pause. I take a step back from my thoughts and I ask myself, “What’s stopping you?” If my initial response is a myriad of “What ifs,” I pause again and ask myself the same “what if” questions, but with a different tone. Now please don’t misunderstand me. I don’t ask myself “what if you succeed?” For two reasons: First (and this might mean I’m a little jaded), I don’t buy into the whole speak it into the universe and manifest blessings “stuff.” My life experience just can’t support that belief system. My life has proven to be difficult, full of obstacles, and I can’t remember it ever going exactly according to my plans. Have I been blessed beyond measure? Yes! Have any of those blessing happened because I spoke them into existence? Heck no! Second, the “fear of success” is not what stops me. I’m not afraid to get what I want, it’s what I want. I am afraid to try, to build up the hope and excitement, just to fail and let myself down.
So I ask myself, “What if I fail? What if nothing comes of it? What if no one listens to my podcast?” …So what? So what if I spend my life pouring time and money into hobbies that cause me joy and excitement, but provide no monetary value to me? What if this blog or a podcast never reaches more than five people, but it causes those five people to smile more, or feel accepted, or understood, or helps them to see beauty in everyday things? What if I have to spend the rest of my life working eight hours a day, Monday through Friday, at a job(s) that I have no passion for? But on the flip side, what if that job enables me to fully utilize the remaining eight hours and weekends enjoying family, friends, and hobbies… oh yeah, and exercising.
Would that really be such a bad life?
Sojourn Nation 