Practicing Perseverance

So, lately I have been trying, once again, to spend less time doom scrolling on socials and more time investing in my life and the kind of person I am. One of the ways I have been doing this is by finally working through my reading list. Coincidentally, it is a list that was heavily influenced by an Instagram post I once saw… but, oh well, I’m a work in progress. The book I am working on currently is The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen R. Covey. Granted, I am only on the first habit (Be Proactive), so afford me some grace if you think I have missed the greater points of his book, but there was one section that really resonated with me and I wanted to share.

On page 103 of the 30th anniversary edition of the book, Covey’s son Sean references the work of Angela Duckworth, who wrote Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance. In her research, one of the character traits that she found to be a significant predictor of success was… grit. Covey calls it resourcefulness and initiative, and Sean even says that “gritty” is one of the key characteristics that he has looked for when hiring people in his role as an executive. The aspect of this grit that Covey regards so highly, that really struck me, was perseverance.

Honestly, perseverance isn’t a trait that I ever thought I had. Now, I have other strengths. For example, I learn new tasks pretty quickly, you can show me how to do something once or twice and then I will be able to do it alone and grow in proficiency in a short amount of time. It is part of the reason why I have dabbled in so many different hobbies (Crochet, Woodcarving, Upholstery, Cooking, Photography, Cross-Stitch, Sewing, Embroidery… the list goes on). But, since I tend to pick things up quickly, when I do struggle to learn something new, I tend to give up on it just as fast. So perseverance, the ability to press on in the face of opposition, to continue expelling effort in the absence of immediate success, isn’t a skill I ever really grew.

And that thought, the idea that perseverance is a skill that is developed, not some innate trait that people are born with, is what I found so convicting and so inspiring.

This perseverance epiphany came at just the right time too. As you may recall from my A is for Astrophotography post, I went to go shoot the Solar Eclipse back in October last year. I was so excited! I researched the filters I would need, I scouted locations via Google Earth, I had this whole board of inspo shots that I wanted to try and emulate. And October 14th was a long day for me, I was awake for 22 hours, drove for over 11 hours, and took over 220 photos in an attempt to capture this perfect image I had formed in my mind’s eye. Later I went home, loaded everything into Lightroom and got to work editing… and almost immediately became discouraged.

What I thought was going to be a quick little HDR merge edit, was actually a multi-month lesson in Photoshop, expectation management, and perseverance. I was so frustrated. So much so in fact, that I ended up never sharing my final image from that day. And then, when January rolled around I had to decide whether or not to prioritize going to the total eclipse in Texas this year, I almost didn’t go. I was weighing out the costs: the time off, the hotel, the miles on my car (because price of flights were ridiculous), and with my big trip to South Korea this fall, I wasn’t sure it would be justified, especially if I didn’t succeed in capturing a photo I was proud of, yet again.

Thankfully, I caught myself on that little downward spiral of doubt and insisted on showing up for myself. I have wanted to capture an eclipse photo since I first saw a total eclipse back in 2017, and the next total eclipse in the contiguous United States isn’t until 2044! **Sure, there is one in Australia in 2028, but if I find a trip from Colorado to Texas expensive, where do you think a flight to Australia sits on my “justifiable costs” scale?** Needless to say, this was going to be my last opportunity for a while and I wanted to at least give it another try.

Also, my failed attempt in 2023 taught me some valuable lessons:

  1. There is a significant difference between an Annular Eclipse and a Total Eclipse1.
  2. Capturing the eclipse with something in the foreground is way more difficult than taking a photo of just the eclipse.
  3. It is okay to start small when you are first learning something new (I know, should be obvious).

Ultimately, I am really glad that I persisted in my endeavor to photograph an eclipse, because this time around I am pretty proud of the results (checkout the photo gallery below). It also encouraged me that if I keep working at it, I can see results in other aspects of my life that I had previously given up on. Things like getting to a healthy weight, or working in a different career field. So, I look forward to growing my ability to persevere and sharing the process with you all along the way.

Plus-Sized Disneyland

Last month I got the opportunity to not only live out a childhood dream, but also overcome a sizeable fear that has been growing in my mind lately.

As a child raised in the 90’s you can sure bet that I was raised on Disney. I grew up watching movies like The Lion King, Beauty and the Beast, and The Little Mermaid. One of my favorite outfits as a kid was this Lion King pajama set (light teal shorts and a tank top with Nala printed all over) and my matching Lion King watch; I wore those with pride, like they were Church clothes, instead of the pajamas that they were. So, obviously, going to the Magical Land of Disney to see all my favorite characters in real life was high on the list of dreams. Realistically though, for our family of five living in Colorado, a trip to either Disney park was out of our fiscal reach growing up.

By the time I could have afforded to go on my own, it had sadly drop on the priority list, for a few reasons actually. First off, I had started to travel internationally and the desire to see more of the world outweighed my desire to visit amusement parks (unless we are taking about the one at the bottom of an abandoned salt mine in Romania, because that one is so intriguing to me). Second, and probably the one that hurt more to admit, I didn’t want to spend the time and money to visit “The Happiest Place on Earth” just to find out that I didn’t fit (literally).

You see, I have been overweight most of my life, and just calling it overweight is putting it nicely (obese is certainly more accurate). I don’t really remember weighing less that 180lbs (granted, I must have at some point, because I was only around 7lbs at birth) and I haven’t dipped below 250lbs in over a decade. So when the BMI chart tells my 5’5″ self that I am not supposed to weigh more than 140lbs, I kinda just scoff and chuckle to myself as I think, “well, that’s not realistic.” While I try my best to accept my body and not let my weight define me or get in the way of what I want to do, unfortunately, the mere physics of life sometimes won’t let me. And please, don’t read this as some sort of pity party or demand that the world be made to fit me. I know that I am the outlier, that most people fit in airplane seats and restaurant booths, and rarely consider the structural integrity of a chair before sitting in it. But, between having to regularly check the max load capacity before buying furniture and the not so pleasant experience of barely fitting on amusement park rides back in high school (when I weighed significantly less), I obviously had some trepidations about going to Disneyland as a size 26/28.

**I am leaving that little sizing tidbit here for anyone else who might be having the same fears, because “plus-size” is a vague term, but actual dress size can give clarity and alleviate some concerns.**

So, why, with all my apprehension, did I finally end up going to Disneyland? Well, as they say, love conquers all. And in this case it was love for my sister. It was for her 40th birthday and a whole group of us ladies went with her to Disneyland to celebrate. In the month leading up to our trip, I was researching size/weight limits on rides, reading numerous blogs on Disney Parks and plus-size travel (which is how I knew that only the knowledge of someone else with your same dress size going and fitting the rides can possibly assuage the fear of not fitting), but was ultimately preparing my heart to spend all day walking around a park and not being able to go on any rides. However, as I approached to the front gate and saw the Alice in Wonderland-esque white rose bushes, I realized it was like walking onto a beautiful movie set and that I was going to have so much fun, even if I only got to walk around and look at all the things.

But, lo and behold, Disney lived up to their magical promise of inclusivity, and I fit all the rides that we went on. Not gonna lie, some of the rides were definitely a tight fit, and I highly recommend going with good friends, because being squished up next to a stranger on some of those rides would not have been fun, but being able to go on iconic rides like Space Mountain and Matterhorn Bobsleds, or epic rides like Indiana Jones and Star Wars: The Rise of the Resistance was totally worth a couple of tight squeezes in different parts/rides of the park. So if you are a size 26/28 or smaller and have been letting the fear of not fitting stop you from going to Disneyland… don’t.

Recommendations for Plus-Size Travelers…
  • Wear good shoes and comfy clothes. Trust me, I know the temptation to dress nice for all the photos, and if you are able to dress both stylish and comfy, by all means, go for it! (Also, maybe teach me yours ways?) But if like me, you haven’t quite come to terms with how you look in leggings and are contemplating wearing jeans… I would like to kindly remind you that by the 10th hour and after 20,000 plus steps, you will be far more grateful to yourself for wearing more athletic clothing and tennis shoes… because chaffing is real, and so is the need for supportive footwear.
  • Pack Light. The one regret I had is that I took a full size backpack with me. Granted, I kept it light and only packed a few things in it, so it wasn’t heavy or arduous to carry, but I do wish I would have gone with something smaller, like a fanny pack, or small cross-body bag. While there are lockers that you can use if you want to store a bigger bag (check out this site for sizing info on lockers), in case you want to pack a picnic lunch or an extra change of clothes for hot summer days. But regarding the bag you will carry with you all day, go for as small as possible. Here’s why: when you find yourself on a ride that is already a tight fit, the last thing you want to be figuring out is where to put your bulky backpack. There isn’t anywhere for you to just drop your bag as you enter a ride and then pick it up as you get off either, so that bag will have to go on the ride with you. Plus, Disneyland is running those rides like a well oiled machine that almost never stops in order to service an average for 46,000 guests each day.1 So for most rides, I would say you have about 30-40 seconds to get situated, which is just enough time to get on and get belted in, not a lot of excess time to properly store your bigger bag by your feet or in the storage net/basket that is available on some rides.
  • Practice Walking. But like, seriously. If you have a desk job and routinely get less than 4,000 steps a day, you will want to train. Our group was blessed to have a Californian who had been to Disneyland a bunch of times who pretty much acted like our own personal tour guide, leading us from ride to ride in the most efficient manner; so we covered the whole park with minimal backtracking, but I still walked over 23,000 steps that day. Thankfully, I had been working on increasing my daily step count leading up to Disney (I was shooting for about 6,000-7,000 steps, four out of seven days a week for the month prior to our trip), and it made a world of difference. I still had a lot of pain and fatigue towards the end of the day, but because I was realistic (and proactive) about the walking expectations at Disney, I was able to last almost the whole day and still function the next day when we had to fly home (note that I said function, not thrive).
  • Go On a Rainy Day. Now this tip you can take with a grain of salt and choose whether or not it really applies to you personally, but I was a huge fan of our rainy visit for a couple of reasons. However, even as the childless adult that I am, I too know that children change all the logistics of any outing. So if a wet day in the rain will cause your seven year old to lose their mind, please, disregard this tip. But, if you are sans children (and adults who swear they melt in the rain), I highly recommend going on a day that is forecasted to rain if you can swing it. Here’s why:

PROS:

  1. There will be less people, which means shorter wait times on rides, and getting to try more rides! Seriously, like we were running through lines and hopping on rides.
  2. Cooler temperatures. It means less sweating and less of the hassles that comes with (think extra change of clothes, dehydration, etc.) Besides, who actually likes over heating?
  3. The lines for the Indian Jones and Jungle Cruise rides will feel infinitely more epic. Something about being in a rainforest themed line/ride while it is actually raining, just made it feel all the more real.

CONS:

  1. Parts of the park will be slippery, be extra careful of the transition from the outdoor part of a line to the indoor part, those first 10 feet are extra slippery!
  2. You’ll see less character actors. If you want to see them, you will have to go looking for them indoors. Since it was rainy most of the day for our trip, I didn’t get to see any character actors until the evening, by which time the rain had stop for at least an hour.
  • Fully Extend the Seat Belts. Now this is a tip that I can not claim as my own, but one that I actually found while researching before my trip.2 I can, however, verify that it works (and is surprisingly important). When you first get on a ride with a seat belt, make sure to grab that bright yellow tab and fully extend the seat belt before sitting down, you can tighten it up after you have sat down and securely fastened the buckle. This trick genuinely makes all the difference. I had forgotten this tip when I first got on the Indiana Jones ride and almost thought that I wasn’t going to be able to fit, but I stood up for a second, pulled the seat belt all the way out and then was able to get buckled in much easier. So this trick makes the small but essential list.

Overall, I am really glad that I went, and not just because we were celebrating my sister’s birthday, but because I really used to relish amusement parks and roller coasters as a kid, and it is a source of enjoyment that I denied myself for decades because I didn’t think I was physically capable of fitting in rides anymore. I had forgotten how much I love being jostled about by a roller coaster, and how much it makes me laugh. Plus, some of these modern rides are so much more than the tracks of steel I grew up on. The engineering behind trackless dark rides like Rise of the Resistance and Mickey & Minnie’s Runaway Railway left me constantly looking around trying to understand how they worked. My brain was so intrigued! I am just so grateful for the opportunity to have overcome some of my weight related fears and go out and enjoy time with friends and family, without it becoming awkward because of my size. And also… I met Chewbacca!

Recognizing Growth

Let’s get personal for a minute.

Have you ever felt stuck before? Like somehow all personal growth stopped at 24 years old even though your ID says you are north of 30, and your knees like to pretend that they’re 75. Until pretty recently, this is how I would have describe myself. Mentally stuck at 24 years old and ill-equipped to move beyond that point in life. But today, I have exciting news…

I have less than ten pages left in my journal!

And I get it, you’re probably thinking: “What the… how is this news?” But when I tell you that the written word and I have a tumultuous history, I really mean it. Like I genuinely struggled with learning to read until I was 13 or 14 years old, granted once I got it, I became a voracious reader. By the time I was 15 I was getting in trouble for reading instead of doing my chores, which was a bit of a dilemma, because how are you supposed to discipline a kid who finally learned how to read? However, even with my new found success in reading, it wasn’t due to mastery of phonics or some traditional method like that; give me a new word and I would have to ask someone how to pronounce it, or I would look it up in the dictionary on our computer so it could read it to me.

I remember one time when my mom asked me how I got so good at reading, I confessed that I gave up on trying to sound words out all the time, and just memorized them instead (kind of like how they say if you learn the 100-200 of the most commonly used words, you can speak a new language. It’s like that, but the language was reading). I didn’t really get good at phonics until college. First my humanities professor did a lesson on etymologies, and talked about how English is mostly built on the foundations of Latin, Greek, and German. Then I took Spanish, which is Latin based and actually has consistent pronunciation rules, and then all of a sudden… Eureka! I finally understood phonics.

Ultimately, with the amount of mental gymnastics it took for me to even read, the idea of organizing my thoughts and retaining them long enough to get them into a written format was bordering on torture until I was about 22 years old. So while I loved how journals looked and romanticized the idea of pouring your soul out onto the page, my execution of journaling on a regular basis has been lacking, for decades.

So this journal of mine, that I have carried around in backpacks and purses, and shoved on shelves and in boxes over the last 16 plus years, is finally almost finished. This otherwise insignificant collection of papers, which contains confessions, declarations, prayers, dreams, diagrams of car crashes, and more than one multi-year gap in writing, has also reminded me of how far I have come in the last decade and a half. I am no longer the young woman who cries over writing term papers, because here I am writing a blog, of my own volition, as a hobby!

Rereading it has also been oddly therapeutic, because it has felt like I am getting to step back in time and relive those moments with my younger self, but as an older, wiser, and more confident companion on the journey. Reliving the pain, the hurt, and the confusion, but getting to almost comfort that part of me because I have made it to the other side of those heartaches. Getting to reminisce with my younger self about travel adventures and cute guys. Laughing at funny little anecdotes and pondering over the fact that although I started this journal around 16 years ago, 25% of its pages were only filled in over the last 12 months.

Anyways, thanks for joining me as I recognize the growth that this little accomplishment signifies. Wishing you good health and the ability to enjoy the journey along the way.

A is for Astrophotography

In case you missed it, last month was the annual Perseid Meteor shower and this year its peak occurred over a weekend! Needless to say, I took full advantage of the timing. I went camping with one roommate on Friday night (learned that my sedan was not made for me to sleep in, because short as my legs may be, I still need to be able to them out and move them in my sleep). Then I drove out to Rocky Mountain National Park (RMNP) with my other roommate on Saturday night for a second shot at capturing a beautiful gleam of light in the night sky.

As previously stated the Perseid Meteor Shower happens every year, starting in July and ending September 1st, with its peak usually occurring mid-August. And unfortunately for some, it is best viewed from the Northern Hemisphere, my condolences to the Southern half of the globe. Although the shower is named after the constellation Perseus (because the meteors appear to radiate out from Perseus), they are actually produced in our night sky as Earth passes through the tail of the Swift-Tuttle comet on our yearly trip around the sun. Provided you are far enough away from city light pollution, you can see up to 100 meteors per hour during the showers peak.1

Now, with great odds like that you would think capturing an image of one of these flaming balls of light dashing across the sky would be a simple matter, right?

**Insert frustrated sigh**

Maybe not so much. In fact, on Saturday night while I was at RMNP with my friend, it became a bit of a funny joke. Usually when I go out star gazing anywhere within two hours of Denver, at some point, someone will pull up and start watching with me (I wonder if it might be an innate trait of humanity, that when we are alone in the dark wilderness, we like to find someone else to be around, like some kind of safety in numbers thing). Anyways, that night was no different. Lo and behold, anytime there was a brilliant streak flying across the sky, someone would shout out, “Did you see that? Did you get it?” And my response was always a slightly defeated laugh, followed by “No, my camera was processing.”

Needless to say, if anyone reading this happens to be amazing at astrophotography and wanted to drop a comment with your meteor shower settings below, I and my future endeavors would be beyond grateful. **Thanks**

But all in all, it was a great weekend with friends, filled with campfires, marshmallows, and chatting with strangers. Plus, over the course of two days, I was able to get a photo that I am actually pretty proud of:

Look at that little cutie!

And as the motivational speakers on social media keep reminding me, practice makes progress. I have grown a lot of skills over the last few years, and the more I get out there and practice, the better I will become. So, next month I will be taking full advantage of another astronomy packed weekend, because Saturday, October 14th will not only have a new moon (hello astrophotography at a “nearby” dark sky site), but it will also have a solar eclipse!! As you can tell from the double exclamation point, I’m pretty freaking excited.

Anyways, I hope you get the chance to go out and see some of the amazing creation that will be on display this next month, and I will write to you all later. Hopefully with some fun new photos to share. Take care!

Summer Update 2023

It has been a crazy few months, but as I sit here at a local park, typing this update, I can’t help but realize how immensely blessed I am. It is a beautiful summer day here, with fluffy white clouds dotted across a blue sky and a gentle breeze keeping the heat at bay. Butterflies and dragonflies periodically flit through the air and there is a pair of Corgis playing in the community space to my left. For the first time in a very long time, Colorado is actually green! Like, we have had such consistent and ample precipitation, that everyone’s yard is green, wildflowers are blooming, and there is even some snow still on the Rocky Mountains, and it’s July.

In addition to all the beautiful natural growth that has been on display this spring and summer, I have also gotten to see some personal growth in two areas of my life, which has been really encouraging. First was the completion of a journey that I have been working on for a few years now. As some of you may know, I have been prioritizing paying off all my debt since early 2021 (Travel Time Out), and as of June 2nd, 2023, I am complete debt free. No credit card balances, car loans, or student loans… nothing. And it feels kind of amazing. I think it’s been over 10 years since the last time I didn’t owe anyone any money, and I’m super excited to start seeing the new opportunities that will arise out of no longer having that burden/hindrance. I am also excited to see the mindset shift as I begin to see the “fruits” of my labor grow, instead of just disappearing. Don’t get me wrong, there was a sense of accomplishment each time I saw a balance break through another thousand dollar mark, or each time I paid off a credit card or personal loan. But this is the first time in my life that I am able to truly see my savings grow, and start getting to see them as the funds that will finance all the experiences I have been dreaming of (a.k.a. Travel! #SouthKorea2024 #Antartica2026?) instead of the lack of funds being a point of stress.

Secondly, I have significantly downsized my possessions. As you may recall from last year’s Summer Recap, and our unexpected move, I had developed a fervent need to get rid of things, all for the sole purpose of never having to pack up that much stuff… ever again. And this Summer, I am getting to live it out. Over the last month we have had one roommate get married and move out, and a new roommate move in, which gave me opportunity to move into the smallest room in the house (feel free to read that as “smaller room = smaller rent = happy dance”). And as I was talking with a friend about the room switch today, I realized how grateful I am for the timing of it all. Because, last year, I did not have the right mentality or ability to let go of so many of the things I had to let go of so that I could fit in this room. Mostly because, a year ago, I was still holding onto the “dream lives” I wanted to live when I was 12, 16, even 22 years old; and if I had been forced to let those go last year, I think it would have felt more like a loss to be mourned, than an instance of growth to be celebrated.

So, all in all, this summer is starting to feel like a turning point in my adult life. Don’t get me wrong, I still feel like I have no idea what I am doing sometimes and like I am playing catch-up on the “adulting lessons” that I somehow missed. But now when I look to my future, I feel optimistic. It feels like I have options, and that I just have to decide which one I want to pursue next.

Preparing for the Life You Want…

Have you ever heard the saying “dress for the job you want, not the job you have.” I have, and I chuckle pretty hard when I consider the timing of it. I first heard it while working part-time as an HR team member at a major US retail store. Nevertheless, I took the advice and swapped my red hoodie for a red cardigan, within 18 months, I had upgraded to a job in accounts payable at a scrap metal yard, where I was highly encouraged to wear jeans… and a hoodie.

While I find it hilarious that I exchanged my hoodie for a cardigan only to move on to a job where wearing a hoodie was infinitely more appropriate, I do still see the wisdom at the heart of the saying. Because, at the risk of sounding cliché, it makes sense that you have to prepare for the life you want. I mean, how the heck are you gonna succeed at a new kind of life if you refuse to get ready for it?

  • Last day wearing cardigans at Target.
  • My new “uniform” at the scrap metal yard.

Now, before you go rolling your eyes too much, don’t worry, I enjoy a good platitude as much as the next person, which is… *cough, cough* …not at all. But I also can’t deny the personal benefit and growth I have seen in my life since I started operating under this new mental framework of “preparing for the life I want.” Let me give you some background.

Growing up, we had a lot of “things.” I wouldn’t call my mom a hoarder, because she didn’t save trash and you could always maneuver around our house. Rather, I would say she was a Garage Sale Junkie… yeah, that’s it. I’m not entirely certain her mentality around it, but the rationale for all our things tended to be either: sentimental (remember when we…), a weird sense of preparedness (in case you want to *insert blank,* you’ll have *blank*), or excessive comfort (Example: at one point, for our family of five, in a living room that was maybe 11×17 feet, I think we had three couches/loveseats, so you rarely had to share a seat).

As a result, I grew up learning to acquire and retain things. And I was good at it! I had vast movie and music collections, and I’m talking physical collections, DVDs, VHS, CDs, cassette tapes. I saved my childhood toys: gaming systems, board games, Barbies, Legos, etc. Oh, and the hobby supplies, dang near endless!

While I could continue listing all the stuff I had, let’s fast forward to where I learned a few lessons. First, this last summer, when my roommates and I had to move unexpectedly, I was hit by a metaphorical 2×4 to the face, as I realized just how much stuff I had accumulated in the five years we lived in that house. It was immense, and the packing and sorting of it all, was exhausting. I walked away from that experience with a profound desire to never have to pack and move that much crap, ever again.

Second, I realized that the theoretical “lives” I was saving these items for, are lives that I am no longer interested in pursuing. For example, I had saved a full dining set of Blue Willow dishes that my mom had collected over the years. While those dishes were beautiful and would be so useful for hosting diner parties, ask anyone who knows me and they will tell you that I am not a hostess. Honestly, the idea of hosting family holidays or having a group of people over for diner sounds stressful and you would most likely find me washing those beautiful dishes half way through the night in an attempt to calm my anxious and overwhelmed sensibilities.

This second realization has become the logical foundation for a question that I now ask myself most days: “Does this align with the kind of life that I want to lead?” It seems simple enough, right? It also strikes me as a question that most people probably don’t have to ask themselves. I don’t know about you, but I have lived most of my life in one of two modes: either peacekeeper mode (usually exemplified with people pleasing qualities) or reaction mode (often fueled by emotions, and rarely beneficial). Granted, I am still learning to live by this new mentality and I don’t get it right all the time. I am literally coming off of a Saturday where, regardless of the to do list full of things to better my life, I spent the whole day in bed binge watching a TV show.

Nevertheless, this mental pause to recalibrate my actions has also given me a new outlook on my future, and I like it. It has taken my dreams and made them feel more like goals, like anything is possible. Don’t get me wrong, there will be hurdles and struggles, but instead of these events being defeats, they become opportunities to pause, readjust, and try a new method.

So, are you preparing for the life you want to lead? Will you pause to ask if your choices align with the life you want to lead, or if they will help you become the person you want to be?

Summer Recap

First off… How is October almost over already? Wow.

Secondly, sorry for the hiatus. It has been a crazy couple of months and if I am honest, I have been oscillating between survival mode, growth mode, and consumption mode (usually consisting of an overconsumption of social media and entertainment with the distinct purpose of not feeling my own feelings because adulting is hard and I often feel ill-equipped). So in the midst of all that, writing got lost in the mix. But I have missed this, and a few of you have been asking (thank you, genuinely, for following up with me about my writing. It was the encouragement and reminder that I needed).

Ok, summer recap. There has been a lot and I think I officially hit the stage of life where I have to look through the calendar and photos on my phone to actually remember what all I have done but here we go…

Las Cruces

I started off my summer with a visit down to Las Cruces. It was a bit of a pre-cursor, on my way to Phoenix, because I figured if I was driving as far south as Phoenix, I should swing by Las Cruces to visit family. Nestled between the Rio Grande and the Organ Mountains just north of El Paso, Las Cruces is abundant with beautiful landscapes. Driving and evening picnics are genuinely my favorite pastimes when visiting this desert town. I am always talking my dad into driving me to landmarks or open spaces for the sole purpose of sitting there for an hour or two (some times more) so I can experiment with photography. Check out some of my favorites below:

Phoenix

Next I got the chance to go to Phoenix for the first time in my life and it was lovely. Phoenix is where I relearned how much I enjoy museums, botanical gardens, and architecture. The first place I got to stop at was the Japanese Friendship Garden. It was honestly the best landing place because it was a beautiful and serene garden with a few nooks to sit down in and plan my next steps.

My next notable stop in Phoenix was the Frank Lloyd Wright house called Taliesin West. While I had heard Wright’s name a multitude of times growing up, I had never been to one of his buildings before and… oh my gosh! Now, I have always loved good architecture. The way some buildings are designed to evoke certain emotions or feelings (e.g. awe, wonder, serenity, excitement, etc.). The use of structural lines, patterns, colors, intricate details, lighting(!!) to create an artwork that not only has a functional purpose, but is aesthetically pleasing and can literally envelop you in its existence… Ahh! So good.

So obviously, I enjoyed Taliesin West. The design is amazing. I love Wright’s use of natural light and how so much of the structure reflected the angles, colors, and materials of the surrounding landscape in such a way that it just… fit. And the living room had so much built in seating, it essentially invited you to sit down and bask in the views that were framed like landscape paintings through the windows.

At the time of my visit there was also a temporary art installation. The Chihuly in the Desert exhibition was co-presented with the Desert Botanical Garden and featured various glass sculptures that can been seen in the some of pictures above. This exhibit was a wonderful addition to the already stunning architecture.

On my last day in Phoenix I went to the Phoenix Art Museum. To be honest, that day I was struggling to find the energy to adventure, but I am really glad that I pushed myself and made it to this museum. There were two pieces that really stick out in my memory:

The first was Cornelia Parker’s, Mass (Colder Darker Matter). It is a contemporary piece which features a suspended cube of charred pieces of wood. I was visually drawn to it because it inspired images of an exploding campfire in my mind. I also loved the 3-dimentional aspect of the piece, getting to walk around the cube and see how the light, shadows, and textures played off each other when the chunks of wood are viewed from different angles… ahh! Hopefully you can see what I mean in the video.

The other work that stood out for me was Yayoi Kusama’s, You Who are Getting Obliterated in the Dancing Swarm of Fireflies. This installation consists of a dark room with mirrored walls where the only light comes from these small led lights that are hung at varying heights throughout the room. I’m not gonna lie, it was really fun (maybe even freeing and exhilarating) to walk, dance, and spin through the lights as they dimmed, brightened, and changed colors. This work definitely made my favorites list for its encompassing experience.

Surprise Move

The beginning of May brought a bit of upheaval to my life (hence the hiatus). It’s funny(?) because it was actually on the 2nd anniversary of my mom’s passing that we found out we were being forced to move; I remember because my sister texted me to see how I was doing and my only thought was that I was in “Logistics Mode” and didn’t have the bandwidth for feelings that day. We had six weeks to try and find a new place to live, smack dab in the middle of Denver’s real estate market peak and the busiest season of the year for our household. Thankfully, with only a couple of weeks left, we were able to find a place. It was a bit of a rough start at this new house, but we are slowly making it home for the time being, for which I am so grateful. The whole moving process was also really good for me on an internal level, as it was a kind of catalyst that caused me to re-evaluate some thought processes, habits, and priorities, and how those should be played out in my daily life. For example, the act of packing up and moving all of one’s stuff will definitely cause one to question why they own so many things. Like, I comprehend how I acquired those things over the course of five years, but I certainly have a renewed desire to pare down my possessions (mostly because, I don’t ever want to have to pack all that up again).

Omaha

In the midst of our housing search, between canceled trips and vacation time getting eaten up with days spent cleaning and packing, there was one trip I refused to miss and I am so glad on went on, Omaha, Nebraska. This trip started with plans to see a live concert (which I did), and got rounded out with visits to the Lauritzen Gardens, the Durham Museum, and a nostalgic shopping trip to Oak View Mall.

Ok, let’s start with Oak View Mall. Now while you may be thinking, “A mall? What the heck is so special about a mall?” For someone like myself, who has watched all of their favorite childhood shopping centers disappear over the last 10 to 20 years, Oak View Mall was a blast from the past that left a smile on my face. Entering the mall by the food court, I instantly felt like I was walking onto the set of Stranger Things or Wonder Woman 1984. From the big neon sign above the entrance which beckoned me from the parking lot, to the cream and teal colored atrium over the food court, and the lattice work and glass encased elevator that stands like a clock tower in the center of a town, Oak View filled my nostalgia hungry heart. It was great.

Next, I went to Lauritzen Gardens which was a lovely and peaceful time. Located on a property of 100 acres just to the southeast of downtown Omaha, it consists of multiple themed gardens, a conservatory, and an arboretum. One of the more unique and intriguing gardens was their Model Railroad Garden, which is built into a hillside and encompasses a little walking trail. The seven model train lines run alongside and cross over top of the walking trails, all while weaving between various plants and miniature buildings that are made from natural materials (e.g. twigs, leaves, cinnamon sticks, etc.). I loved how distinct the display was and how it honored Omaha’s railroad history.

Another tribute to Omaha’s railroad past is the Durham Museum. When you first walk in, you are greeted with an expanse of architecture and décor in the Art Deco style. Originally Omaha’s Union Station, the Durham Museum houses a multitude of permanent exhibits that range in topics. Including everything from multiple traincars and a steam engine, to various reproductions and dioramas showing the historic daily lives of Nebraskans, and even a substantial rare coin collection. If you have any passion for history, the Durham Museum has something that will pique your interest. Personally, I loved sitting in the Suzanne and Walter Scott Great Hall (located on the main level), and basking in the beautiful Art Deco Architecture:

After basking, the lower level of the museum is so fun to explore. My favorite had to be walking through the various train cars and seeing the different compartments. It was so intriguing to see how they fit so many amenities into the overnight rooms, and imagine how luxurious it must have be to visit the lounge car while travelling.

Looking forward to this fall/winter, I don’t have any concrete travel plans yet but I have taken a couple of drives and done some sunrise photography, so I hope to get some of those photos edited and posted for you all to see. Thank you again for joining me on my travels.

5 Travel Tips for Introverts

If you are an introvert like me, you love the idea of travel, but the execution of it can be a little overwhelming at times. Sometimes, it is the idea of being in close quarters with friends or family for days on end (regardless of how much you love and enjoy them). Other times, it is the oppressive presence of endless crowds at popular tourist spots. Maybe, it’s just the concern that when you go somewhere new, you will miss your favorite pass times from back home. If any of these sound familiar, keep reading, because as a person who is often telling her friends “Thanks, but I think I will stay home tonight,” I have five travel tips to help you make the most of your vacation time and enjoy the adventure.

Travel Solo

First up is… try Solo Travel. If you are hesitant at first, trust me I get it. There is a sense of security that comes from traveling in groups, and it is fun to share new experiences and create memories with friends, family, or your significant other. However, there are positives to traveling solo too. My favorite is the ability to customize my trip itinerary to focus on what intrigues me. Instead of trying to satisfy everyone’s interests, I get to do what I want, the whole time. This has lead to multiple trips being initiated by wanting to see a favorite comedian or band, and then expanding the trip into exploring as much of a city as I possibly can in just a few days.

Another bonus of traveling solo is taking each day of your trip at your own pace. You will come to know your limits the more you travel and begin to get a sense of how much activity you prefer each day. Maybe you enjoy getting to your destination a little early so you can acclimate before diving head long into your adventure, or maybe you prefer to hit the ground running. Either way, you can do what works best for you.

Be Flexible

Plans can change, and that’s ok. I recently went to Phoenix for a couple of days and by noon on day two I realized that I had severely overbooked myself in my head. What I mean by that is, I had a week’s worth of activities that I wanted to try and only two days to complete them in. I was getting exhausted and overwhelmed. So, I decided that for me, a vacation shouldn’t require a recovery period. I prioritized my favorites and let the rest go. Did I get to do all the things I had originally set out to do? No. But now I have a list of things to try when I go back and visit Phoenix again.

Visit Quiet Places

Big tourist attractions aren’t the only places worth visiting, I promise. While amusement parks, sporting events, shopping malls, and concert venues can be so fun and super entertaining, they also tend to have a lot of crowds. If you are looking to avoid large groups of people, I have some recommendations.

My first choice and personal favorite is to find a bit of nature to sit in and enjoy. This can look a little different depending on where you are, but most regions have City, State, or National parks. Do some research and look at photos and reviews before you go, but you can usually find parks that are calm and peaceful, with lovely views or features.

Secondly, take in the arts. Some venues will be quieter, simply due to the nature of their offerings. Art museums not only curate art collections to catch your eye and inspire or intrigue your soul, but also cultivate an atmosphere of contemplation and quiet reflection. Added bonus, for the purpose of art conservation, they are climate controlled. So if you are dying to get out of the heat, cold, humidity, etc., art museums have your back.

Take a Book

Ok, it doesn’t actually have to be a book, but if you have a smaller (i.e. portable) hobby that you enjoy doing at home, bring it with you. A new place doesn’t have to mean a new you. There is generally some down time while travelling, whether it is waiting for your plane to board, or waiting for your traveling companion to finish getting ready for the day, or maybe you visit a park, like I mentioned above, and want something to do while you bask in the beauty of nature for a few hours. Also, if you are travelling solo, a book is a great way to make dining out alone feel less awkward. None of that accidental, extended eye-contact with other patrons because you were staring off into space right where their face happened to be… yeah, I highly recommend books.

Talk to Strangers

This might seem a little counter intuitive, I realize that, but talking to strangers can be really fun and has often been the funny little story that I end up sharing with friends and family when I get back home. And honestly, you can keep it as low pressure as you need. I’m not saying you have to go up and introduce yourself to everyone you meet, instead, just be intentional about making brief eye-contact and smiling when someone walks by or enters the room… After that, just be open to a conversation. Trust me, the people who end up chatting, tend to be good conversationalists, and you will get to hear some great stories. You wanna know the most reassuring part about talking to strangers while traveling? Even if it is a total flop, or ends up being insanely awkward, or you forget their name… It doesn’t matter, because you will most likely never see them again. Like I said, low pressure.

So, there you go. From one introvert to another, my five tips for making travel as enjoyable as possible. If you have been avoiding travelling, hopefully these will encourage you to start. And if you are already an avid traveler, hopefully you got some new ideas for your next trip. Either way, I would love to hear from you. Let me know your favorite travel tip in the comments, and hopefully some day I will get to be the “stranger” you talk to while traveling.

Mini-Update

Good morning… and depending on when you read this, good afternoon, good evening, and good night! (Do you like the Truman Show reference I just did there?)

I wanted to touch base with you all because I am really determined to stick with this schedule of posting every other Saturday (I hear routine is supposed to be good for people, and I, surprisingly enough, do qualify as a “people”). I did just get back from a little trip to Phoenix, AZ and I am so excited to share some of the photos from that trip and just the thoughts and experiences. Alas, today’s post will be a little short as I need to comb through the photos and get the best ones edited for you.

It was really good to be on the road again. I hadn’t taken a true out-of-state exploratory road trip since January of 2021, and I forgot how much I love it. I mean, I knew I loved to travel, but have you ever had something that gives you so much happiness and inspiration, that you then aren’t able to do for a significant amount of time? How do you feel when you get to do it again? For me, it felt like I had gotten so used to the hunger for travel, that I forgot I was hungry. And now that I got to “eat,” I never want to go hungry again. It also made going back to work so hard. I don’t think I got used to doing my job again until Friday, oops!

I do have a couple of random take-aways from the trip that I want to share with you now. The first is really just a confirmation of something I already “knew,” but the knowledge sunk in a little deeper this time. I always knew that we are all individuals and all our minds operate a little different from each others: This is why our perceptions of the same events can vary so much. But this time I realized I, personally, am wired a little different.

For me, going on solo road trips just feels so normal; Whether it’s a drive through the mountains or a drive through multiple states, they feel the same to me. So the idea that driving to Phoenix alone is adventurous, kind of confused me, because to me that just feels like a “Tuesday.” And the expectation that you are supposed to travel with people showed up in some unusual situations. Like chatting with a stranger in the park, she asked if my group was staying nearby, even though I was obviously alone, chilling on a park bench (granted, that did make it a lot easier to follow the #1 safety rule of solo travel, which is to always make it sound like you are traveling with others). The weird thing for me now, is that my brain doesn’t automatically recognize why you wouldn’t travel alone? I get that most people travel with family or friends, but I like to travel alone. I enjoy the hours alone in my car listening to music and the ability to change my plans based on what I feel like doing at that moment. I can randomly go visit a fort that is five miles out of the way, or say “screw it” and stay in my hotel room and watch a Kdrama instead of exploring the city like I had originally planned. The freedom of it is kind of my favorite.

Ok, lastly, I am going to leave you with a funny thought I had while driving home that made me laugh really hard (hopefully it will make you chuckle a little too). I was driving on this super hilly and winding highway heading out of Phoenix, and the speed limit was pretty fast, so you can feel the force as you go up and down, and veer left and right to hug the curves of the road. It made me feel how I assume a racecar driver feels. So there I am, Rihanna blasting on the stereo, with my window down, my hand out floating on the wind stream from my car, and my excited little voice just shouts “This road has more curves than me, and I LOVE IT!!”

There you go. A mini-update for you all. I hope you enjoyed.

What’s Stopping You?

I have a dream. I wish I could claim it was a noble dream; a dream that works to end social injustice or world hunger, or maybe brings about world peace. It’s not, because realistically, I’m a little too selfish for that kind of dream. Instead, I dream of making travel and exploration my life and work, not just my hobby. It sounds kind of fantastical, doesn’t it? Can you imagine? Having the thing that brings you joy and inspires you, be the same thing that pays your bills? Sounds crazy, right? Alas, it’s my dream.

It’s not an entirely selfish dream, it’s not like I envision only working with luxury brands, being based out of Singapore or Dubai, and drastically “upgrading” my lifestyle (I honestly don’t think it would fit me). Rather, I want to share the beauty I see every time I go for an afternoon drive. I want to encourage people to slow down and enjoy the way sunlight dances across leaves when there is a gentle breeze caressing the trees. I want to inspire people to be curious and adventurous, because there are too many magnificent sights and experiences in this world to never leave your home town.

And the people! Oh, people have the best stories! I’ve listened to everything from descriptions of Sicilian Cafes from someone’s tour with the Navy, to the hilarious antics of children from someone else’s time as a school bus driver. I love it! I love watching the mirth wash over peoples faces in waves as they recount old memories, or seeing the resilience permeate their being as they share the hardships they have overcome. I want to embrace different cultures, try new foods, meet new people, and feel as comfortable in any part of the world as I do in my own hometown. These are the things I want to share and the things I want to make my life about.

It’s a pretty big dream. If you asked me to draw out a road map of how to achieve it, I would most likely stare at you a little dumbfounded, before admitting that I have no clue how to make that happen. Yet, it continues to saturate my thought life. So much so, that every time I consider a new hobby that has the slightest correlation to my dream, I get overwhelmed with thoughts of how to make it a hustle to finance the dream. For example, I think: “Ooo, I wonder if I could do a podcast, that might be fun.”

Over-Thinker Mode Activated: How do I monetize that? How do I market that? How can I get listeners? How do I pay taxes on that type of income?

Are those appropriate first step questions? No. Are they good questions to ask at some point down the road? Yes. But it would probably be a little more productive for me to brainstorm 10 episode ideas and maybe purchase a microphone before I start questioning my theoretical future tax status. What’s worse is it takes hobbies that I could really enjoy, that would give me a creative outlet, and maybe even give me opportunity for personal development, and bogs them down with so much pressure and expectation that I never start them.

This is the thought process I have been evaluating a lot in my own life lately. Especially when I see it stopping me from action. Don’t get me wrong, there are valid reasons to not pick up new hobbies. Maybe it isn’t how I want to prioritize my finances: new hobbies cost money, and keeping a roof over my head and food on the table tends to be a little more important. Maybe it isn’t how I want to prioritize my time: There are only 24 hours in a day and apparently I am supposed to sleep for eight of them? And then the other 16 hours get divvied up between work, family, friends, and current hobbies… oh yeah, and exercise! Those are legitimate considerations. So when I notice myself hesitating not from the logical reasons of finances or time, but from the crippling pressure of:

What if this is how I’m supposed to make my dream happen, and I fail… miserably?

I pause. I take a step back from my thoughts and I ask myself, “What’s stopping you?” If my initial response is a myriad of “What ifs,” I pause again and ask myself the same “what if” questions, but with a different tone. Now please don’t misunderstand me. I don’t ask myself “what if you succeed?” For two reasons: First (and this might mean I’m a little jaded), I don’t buy into the whole speak it into the universe and manifest blessings “stuff.” My life experience just can’t support that belief system. My life has proven to be difficult, full of obstacles, and I can’t remember it ever going exactly according to my plans. Have I been blessed beyond measure? Yes! Have any of those blessing happened because I spoke them into existence? Heck no! Second, the “fear of success” is not what stops me. I’m not afraid to get what I want, it’s what I want. I am afraid to try, to build up the hope and excitement, just to fail and let myself down.

So I ask myself, “What if I fail? What if nothing comes of it? What if no one listens to my podcast?” …So what? So what if I spend my life pouring time and money into hobbies that cause me joy and excitement, but provide no monetary value to me? What if this blog or a podcast never reaches more than five people, but it causes those five people to smile more, or feel accepted, or understood, or helps them to see beauty in everyday things? What if I have to spend the rest of my life working eight hours a day, Monday through Friday, at a job(s) that I have no passion for? But on the flip side, what if that job enables me to fully utilize the remaining eight hours and weekends enjoying family, friends, and hobbies… oh yeah, and exercising.

Would that really be such a bad life?